


Love At First Sight

by IWrtBksNtTrgds (orphan_account)



Series: Wattpad Fics (That totally suck. Don't read them) [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: BDSM, Depression, I fucking hate 50 shades, Like, Love at First Sight, M/M, This is a shitty book, daltrick, fifty shades of gray - Freeform, i'm begging you not to read this, it isn't good, please don't read this, this was from like. a year ago off of my wattpad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 08:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 19,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13477251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/IWrtBksNtTrgds
Summary: At 14 years old, I found this book. This book may or may not have been called 50 Shades of Grey.At 15 years old, I dreamed of my Christian Grey. Tall, dark, dominant. Someone to use me however they wanted.At 16 years old, I got Dallon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, please don't read this. This is something off of my wattpad from like a year ago, and it's just a piece of shit so like. Unless you're looking for a shit book, I would suggest you don't read this. Or anything else in the wattpad fic series. Thanks.

50 Shades of Gray.

That was what started this whole... hobby, I guess. A dominant, rich control freak pleases himself with a submissive, shy virgin with lots of non-consensual scenes, emotional crises, and... well... Bondage.

And yeah, so what if I'm a guy? I would still kill to be in a relationship like that, and not like all the women who read the book and immediately wanted to try freaky shit in the bedroom. I mean, I want to actually be dominated. I want someone to hurt me and make it feel good.

So, yeah, after a year or so of self-discovery, I'm a masochist. That's all I know, though, because I've been way too embarrassed to explore any more.

The people at school also make fun of me for being a faggot a lot, too. So I don't usually feel especially good when I masturbate anymore. Especially when I think of someone when I do it... Pete, Brendon, Ryan, Gerard, Frank...

I get really disgusted with myself really fast. So I don't unless my teenage hormones are absolutely raging (I'm still 16 years old, by the way. Don't judge me) and I need to get off oh so desperately (but even that comes with a bit of hair pulling and teasing).

And then there are the cuts along my arms. I don't talk about those, though. Not even to Pete, and Pete's my best friend.

Thankfully, I'm almost out of school. Only two more years and I'll be able to leave this hellhole, get a better job, a place to live, maybe...

Oh god, this is going to be a very long two years, along with the fact that my sexual fantasies will never be fulfilled, I feel like shit. Absolute and total shit. Kind of worthless, a faggot...

The bullying gets to me. I feel worthless. Like a disappointment. Pete usually tries to cheer me up but... I don't know.

So in the meantime, I've settled for inflicting pain on myself and basically stopping myself from jerking off.

And waiting for forever for the Christian Grey who'll never come.


	2. Chapter 2

"Patrick..."

"Hey, Buddy, wake up."

"Go away, Pete."

"No, c'mon. Brendon, Ryan, Joe, and I are going out with a couple of Bren's friends. They have weed."

"Pete, you know I don't smoke." I groan, finally lifting my head from the lunch table.

He sighs, "Your loss."

"Hey, at least I won't be the one with cancer at 25." I growl.

"At least come with? It'll be a good time. Even if you don't smoke." Pete says.

I look up in his eyes with my own, tired. I don't want to go. I don't like going into social situations because I'm always the odd one out. I'm always the kid that gets left behind and blamed for it all.

"No." I say firmly.

Pete sighs, "We're going out tonight and again this Friday. If you wanna come with, just call. Nobody will force stupid shit on you and stuff."

I sit up and in my fingers through my hair, straightening my leather jacket, "no."

He stares at me, his dark brown eyes straight into mine, until he finally just sighs and gets up, "This Friday, Patrick. At least consider it."

"Okay, whatever." I reply, watching as he leaves the table and empties his tray.

I don't like doing illegal shit like this. I'm afraid they'll get caught or I'll get caught. I don't want to get hooked either. If I really want to try pot, I'll wait but in the meantime, I'm okay with staying sober. Sometimes, I wonder if Pete cares about getting addicted at all and if he just does it to fuck himself over... there are times when I've had to pick him up from Brendon's because he's felt like shit and he won't stop puking and he has a pounding headache.

I remember the way I'd held him and cried because I was so scared that he'd get hooked on something else and overdose and end up killing himself. I've been so scared of losing him or Brendon or Ryan or Joe. Then, there's Kenny. Kenny is Brendon's friend (he was originally a friend of Brendon's dad, though) already in college. I try to stay away from him for the most part because he's a druggie. Brendon's dealer and friend.

I grimace and get up from the table, bringing my tray with me as I throw away my food and slam the dish on the stack of the others. I wish he'd just stop. I wish he would realize how much it fucking hurts. How scared I am of losing him. I wish he would stop. I wish they'd all stop.

I make my way out of the cafeteria, leaving the room. I'm not sure where I'm going. I kind of want to punch Brendon in the face for always dragging Pete along but I realize he can't help it. I want them all to realize how stupid this all is...

"Hey, fag."

I clench my fist and take a deep breath as a hand tugs me back by my shoulder and I'm face to face with Ray Toro and Mikey Way.

"Leave me alone." I whisper.

Ray only chuckles and pulls me by my hair out of the main hall while I struggle to just grit my teeth and endure whatever the hell they're putting me through today.

Ray shoves me into the boy's restroom with Mikey close behind before I'm dragged into a stall.

I just go limp.

There's nothing I can do but struggle as he presses by face into the water in the goddamn toilet bowl and holds me there for a few second. Just long enough to make my lungs burn as he whispers insults in my ear and Mikey chuckles next to him.

And I don't know how long they do it. It must be a solid ten minutes, or at least until my hair is soaked and I'm coughing up the water that the bell finally rings and they let me go to laugh to themselves and head back to class.

And I'm left to dry myself off, late to fifth period.


	3. Chapter 3

Petey Panda: Heeyyy

I look down at my phone, my eyes leaving the computer in my lap to read the message. As soon as I finish, I only roll my eyes and return my gaze to my computer, sighing. I don't like being distracted. Not at times like this at least...

His hands slid down Sam's thighs, his lips chapped and eyes blown with lust. The way he looked up at the other man with such want and need. His fingers shaky. Sweat forming across his back. Everything just made the dom's erection even harder, it was all so hot and out of all the subs he had ever had, he knew Dean was the best. Despite the fact that he was his own brother.

The taller, darker boy weaved his fingers in his sub's hair, squeezing gently before pressing the boy's face to his crotch and forcing the tip of his cock to his lips.

"Open up, Slut."

Dean whimpered, his–

Petey Panda: Patricccck I want you heeeeereeee

I sigh and continue with the story on my computer.

Dean whimpered, his eyes watering as he opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around the tip of the warm flesh.

"C'mon, Baby Boy. Fucking take it." Sam growled, forcing his mouth all the way down the long shaft, filling Dean's mouth all the way to the back of his thrust and pulling it back soon after, "No teasing. Hands behind your back.

Dean gripped his hands together just–

Petey Panda: This is Kenny. Can you come to my place? I need help taking Pete and Joe home and I'm a little tipsy and I don't need the cops finding out about this.

Goddamnit, Pete.

Patrick: do you really need me? I don't want to be dragged into this plz

I wait a moment, my eyes trailing back to the Wincest smut on the screen. BDSM Wincest smut. Just the kind I like, I mean... not that I like incest, the smut is just hot. Really, really hot.

Petey Panda: Yes, just come over. Asap.

I groan to myself reluctantly because I really don't feel like dealing with Pete and Ryan and Joe and Brendon right now. I don't like having to be called up to clean up the mess they all made.

Despite how much I hate it, they're my friends... so I do eventually get up, clear my browsing history, make sure the book that was on my bedside table is now hidden securely under my mattress, and pull on my shoes.

Patrick: I'll be ovr in a bit.


	4. Chapter 4

The place is old. A dark, ugly green in color with brown trim. I hate it. Along with the fact it smells of weed 24/7 and my best friend almost died in there, I absolutely despise it. It always brings back bad memories.

I hate coming here because it either means Pete, Brendon, Joe, or Ryan overdosed, or one of them needs a ride home because Kenny decided to be a fucking idiot.

I take a deep breath, deciding on whether or not I really want to do this, before I finally get out of my car and head to the front door of the house.

I don't want to knock. I don't want to talk to them. I just want to go home and do safer things. I mean, yeah, they may be things I could get killed for, but still. It's not like I'm gonna die from reading kinky fanfiction.

Before I can even knock, a man I don't recognize opens the door.

And damn I hope he isn't straight.

He's tall, maybe a little under a foot taller than me (but I am kind of short for my age, so that may be it), with long legs and a lanky build. He looks dark around his eyes but that just kind of adds to the sexiness of it all and along with the stubble and the messy, dark brown hair, I have to pull down my shirt to hide something that might be coming up real soon. And oh shit fuck. Blue eyes. Shit.

"H-Hey." I stutter out, placing my hands in the pockets of my jacket and looking up at him, "I-Is Kenny here?"

The man nods, "Yeah, come on in."

Fuck. His voice isn't half-bad either.

Why am I even thinking about this? He's gotta be at least ten years older than me. And I'm just an awkward ass fuck with no talent whatsoever.

I swallow dryly, quickly pulling down my shirt again because, oh yeah, it's coming in fast as I come inside.

"Kenny! Patrick's here!" The man calls, shutting the door. I scratch the back of my neck softly before turning to the man.

"Are you Kenny's friend?" I ask, my eyebrows narrowed in confusion.

He chuckles and shakes his head, "Nah, I'm his older brother. Dallon Weekes."

My eyes widen and my eyebrows narrow even more, "Brothers?"

"Step-Brothers." He shrugs and my features return to normal because they have no resemblance at all and I was extremely confused.

"Oh, okay." I whisper, then realize I didn't introduce myself and quickly correct myself, "I'm Patrick Stump."

He chuckles and shakes my hand, "Cute name, Patrick."

Cute name? The hell is that supposed to mean?

"Patriiiickkkk! Babyyyyy!" I hear a familiar voice say and I blush as the dark haired, eyeliner clad boy opens his arms to me.

"Pete, don't call me that. We're not dating." I say.

"Hey, Pattycakessss..." Brendon giggles, followed soon after by Ryan and Kenny.

"You keeping Ryan and Brendon here?" I ask Kenny.

He only nods.

"Take care of them." I warn, gazing straight into his eyes, "I swear to god if they drink too much again..."

"They won't, Patrick. Seriously." Kenny says, "they're just looking for fun. Mr. Urie trusts me with them. It'll be fine."

"I don't." I mumble under my breath, "See you tomorrow Brendon, Ryan."

"Bye, Patty!" Brendon giggles, Ryan only keeps kissing Brendon's cheek and I can't help but roll my eyes in embarrassment as I pull Joe and Pete with me into the car, "Behave you two. We'll be home in a bit."

"Okay, Pattycakes." Pete giggles, "I feel so good..."

"You won't in the morning, Panda." I mumble to myself, keeping my eyes low and my hands on the steering wheel as I drive through the night back to Joe's house.


	5. Chapter 5

"Patrick, what's up, Buddy!"

I groan and glare at the brunette who's making his way to me, but he falters somewhere in there as he realizes how pissed I am.

I stand up, slamming my sandwich down as I turn to Brendon, "Why can't you just stop? Why can't you just stop this whole thing, huh?" I push him back, "DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING WORRIED I GET ABOUT YOU? I'M TERRIFIED OF LOSING YOU TO A STUPID OVERDOSE AND I HATE HAVING TO SEE THE GUY WHO MADE YOU LIKE THIS."

Brendon just stares as I break down, tears lining my eyes and the entire cafeteria watching.

"Patrick—"

"SHUT UP, BRENDON! GO FUCK YOURSELF, I'M DONE TAKING CARE OF YOU. I'M DONE WORRYING ABOUT YOU 24/7. I'M DONE."

I feel hands on my shoulders and no matter how much I want to snap at them, I can't. I couldn't. Not even if I wanted to...

"Patrick, hey, calm down, okay? Let's get out of here. We can talk about this for a bit." He strokes my arm, "Lemme get your lunch, let's go, okay?"

I swallow but nod, despite the fact I can't see Pete's face. I know it's him. I recognize that smooth voice. Those calloused hands. The breath on the back of my neck.

I turn away from Brendon and go to my table, grabbing my tray quickly before I follow Pete out the door and to the hallway.

He immediately pulls the tray from my hands, setting it on the ground and hugging me close. I only push him away.

"Why do you keep on doing it, Pete?" I whisper, "Why do you keep doing weed and drinking? You know how much that shit could fuck you up, please. Just stop." I whisper in a half beg.

Pete shakes his head, "I'm so sorry... I... look, I just... it's fun. We're teens. We need to live life while we can. While we still have this freedom. After that, we're screwed, Trick. We're just trying to do what we want while we can. We're not addicted. We're not suffering."

I only purse my lips and avoid his eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Look, just come with us." He says, "Just once. You don't have to smoke or drink. Just come with us and you'll see what we mean..."

I hum, not bothering to reply because I don't know. I don't know if I want to. I don't know if I even agree with his first statement.

"'Trick, it'll be fun. Joe, Ryan, Brendon, Kenny, Dallon, you, and I." He says.

"Dallon will be there?" I ask, raising my eyebrows before I can stop myself.

Pete chuckles, "Yes, Dallon will be there.

I finally just sigh and let a smile creep on my lips, "Fine. Fine but just once, understand?"

"Of course." Pete smiles, "We'll pick you up at say... 9ish?"

I nod, "Yeah, that'll be cool."

"Cool. You'll love it." He smirks, "You'll love it a lot."


	6. Chapter 6

Friday.

I'm scared.

It's not that I'm afraid of getting hooked on weed or drinking because I'm doing neither. I'm more of an anxious scared. I've been fixing my hair for the past fifteen minutes, trying to get it just right and eventually giving up to just put a dark brown fedora over it. I looked through all my clothing for at least a half hour, eventually going for black and white flannel and black skinny jeans. Teenagery but not too teenagery.

And... yeah... he's gotta be at least ten years older than me but he's hot. Like... really, really hot. And I'm hoping he's a nice guy, too. Only three more months until I'm the legal age of 17.

Am I seriously trying to do this...?

Eh... it's worth a shot, so hell yeah.

I finish tilting my fedora just right, my eyes glancing up at the clock on the bathroom wall reading 8:52 PM and I bite my lip nervously.

I know Pete will know why I dressed differently than I usually do, that's not my issue. My issue is if Dallon will even notice what I'm doing even if I'm ten years younger than him. What if he just thinks it's weird that I'm crushing on him? I want to ask him out for coffee or something but I'm scared he'll just laugh and ask if I'm joking. What if he never wants to talk again?

Oh god, I'm just really nervous.

"Hey Mom?" I call from bathroom, leaving to head to the living room, "Are you cool with me going to Pete's tonight? I finished all my homework and stuff."

She looks up at me with those gentle blue eyes and nods, "Of course. Be back by three tomorrow, your Dad and I are going out on a date and I want you to watch the house while we're gone."

Watch the house. My mom always wants me to stay home and watch the house like in the three hours they're gone, a robber could break in and steal her antiques collection. Maybe, I'll just invite Pete or Dallon over or something...

I usually just end up staying home alone and reading whatever BDSM smut I can on ao3 or Wattpad or Fanfiction.net. With the rare exception of DDLG. Don't get me wrong, I'm not into DDLG. I don't like the whole daddy-little thing. If that's what other people are into then that's cool but I like BDSM much better. I like how the dominant is so much more commanding and I'm not into the fluffier parts that DDLG has. Much more, I'd rather not embarrass myself with a fucking diaper and binky. It makes me cringe but if other people are into it, that's cool.

Ahem. Anyways.

"Okay." I say blandly, looking up at the time again.

8:55.

"He's gonna be here in a few minutes, I'll be outside."

My mom only nods and continues to read her book, as if she doesn't care. I wouldn't be surprised. No one seems to care anymore.

I go outside, my head and eyes low, shutting the squeaky door softly and sitting on the front porch with my phone out. The winter air is cold and my breaths are cloudy in the dark as my phone shines a bright light across my eyes.

Harry was on his knees when the other boy entered, his hands bound behind his back with a tight rope, a blindfold over his eyes, and moisture dotting his soft, pink lips as he pants in excitement.

"All ready for me, Potter. You're such a little slut, aren't you?" The white haired boy spat, dragging his hand across Harry's mouth and forcing the brunette's head back.

"Please, Draco, fuck."

Draco growled and slapped him hard, "You are not to call me that name again, Slut, do you–"

HONK HONK

I jump out of my seat, my eyes looking up like a deer caught in headlights.

"Get in, Loser! We're going to heaven!" Joe called with his afro stuck out the window of the backseat and The Offspring turned all the way up on the radio. I chuckle softly, rolling my eyes as I get up and direct my eyes to the front seat.

To Dallon.


	7. Chapter 7

"ALL THE SMALL THINGS  
TRUE CARE TRUTH BRINGS  
I'LL TAKE ONE LIFT  
YOUR RIDE BEST TRIP  
ALWAYS I KNOW  
YOU'LL BE AT MY SHOW  
WATCHING, WAITING, COMMISERATING!"

I'm laughing my ass off at the very drunk Pete and Joe and Kenny beside me while Dallon drives completely sober. I'm pretty sure Ryan and Brendon are in the back, although, I can barely hear them over the music if they are fucking.

Joe has his hand wrapped around my shoulder and has attempted to kiss me about five times while Pete sits on the other side of me screaming out the lyrics to the song. Kenny is in front, singing along while Dallon just keeps calm with the tint of a smirk on his lips.

"SAY IT AIN'T SO  
I WILL NOT GO  
TURN THE LIGHTS OFF  
CARRY ME HOME!"

Joe kisses my cheek again but I only push him away and roll my eyes, pulling my phone from my pocket.

"You're both fucking crazy." I laugh.

"You don't know the half of it." Dallon states from the front.

"HERE, HERE!" Pete yells like a child, "Stop the car! This is the place!"

I frown as I look out the window but there's nothing. It's just a normal neighborhood block. Not Kenny or Joe or Brendon or Pete or Ryan's house.

Pete still gets out of the car anyway, followed by Joe and eventually me.

"Patrick!" Pete burps, "C'mon. This is it. You gotta get on the tailgate."

I frown but comply, climbing up the tailgate of the truck and noticing Ryan and Brendon sitting in the back of the truck with a drag of weed each.

Pete and Joe stay on the tailgate, though, holding onto the wall of the back with grins on their faces.

"GO GO GO!" Joe yells to Dallon.

Before I can comprehend what's happening, the truck is driving down the road (which is actually a hill) and we're going fast. The wind at our faces, the road at our backs and I'm screaming.

My hands cling onto the handle for dear life, my eyes wide and my grip hard. Joe and Pete only laugh on either side of me while Ryan and Brendon each look out the sides of the back, letting the wind ruffle their hair.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I find myself yelling, "FUCK OHMYGOD WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE FUCK!"

The truck keeps going and going, it seems to get faster the farther down the hill we go. My heart drumming in my ears, my hands sweaty, my breathing fast, adrenaline coursing through my veins until I can't take it and I jump in the back of the truck, right next to Brendon who only holds me as I clutch his shirt in fear.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod." I whisper, my legs now wrapped around Brendon and my head in his chest as I try to calm down, the truck getting faster and faster until Joe and Pete jump in, too.

Dallon continues to press down on the gas, the truck going faster. We're past the hill but we're heading out of the city, to places where there are no limits and we can do whatever the fuck we want.

"BRENDON IM GOING TO DIE HELP OH MY GOD!" I scream, my voice cracking and my eyes watering.

"Dude! Calm down!" Brendon chuckles, "C'mere."

My hands are shaking as he stands up, gripping onto the truck for stability.

"NO! FUCK NO!" I yell over the wind.

"Just get up here!" Brendon yells.

My eyes widen, my head shakes in fear. Brendon yanks me up and holds me against the truck, facing forward so my eyes peek over the roof to see the road in front of us but I'm safe. Brendon has his arms around my own and Pete and Joe are on either side of me while Ryan stays on his ass, still smoking his weed.

"OH MY GOD!" I yell, this time it isn't out of fear, though. This time it's out of excitement and joy and the music comes back in tune as we drive through the empty roads, songs I couldn't live without.

"I BEG TO DREAM AND DIFFER FROM THE HOLLOW LIES  
THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES!"

"ON HOLIDAY!"


	8. Chapter 8

I'm exhausted.

We'd spent nearly an hour out of town feeling the wind at our faces, watching cars pass and eventually just sitting and yelling over the wind. Somewhere in there, Dallon stopped in a small town and we turned around, heading back to Chicago.

The drive overall was peaceful and relaxing and fun. I understand why they doesn't want to grow up too fast. Why he's making the best of this while they can.

Now, I'm at Kenny's house with Dallon and Brendon and Joe and Pete and Ryan. I have my phone in hand and a soft smile on my face while Joe and Pete talk in hushed voices and Ryan and Brendon hang out in a bedroom just down the hall. Dallon is reading a book on the couch, a concentrated look across his hard face. The same look he could give while he ties me up and—

Ahem. Anyways.

Kenny is passed out in a recliner, too, his head lolled back and drool leaking from his mouth and I wonder how he can be comfortable like that, but whatever.

I direct my attention back to my phone, my fingers scrolling through the text quickly because I found a good one this time.

John had never really thought of Sherlock as a kinky guy. Very vanilla, very, very vanilla with the occasional handjob or blowjob. If John was lucky, he'd get the brunette to go rough but a lot of the time, it was just vanilla. Soft, slow, careful touches, gentle kisses.

That is, until John found a box in Sherlock's bedside table.

He knew he shouldn't have been snooping through his boyfriend's shit but it was so tempting and he couldn't take it.

The first thing John found inside the box was a dildo. Yeah, he thought to himself, he probably uses that alone sometimes. Not too weird.

So he took the dildo out. And next was a pair of handcuffs. This was a little weird. Handcuffs? Really? Okay, then...

The handcuffs came out and next, was a collar, and a ball gag, and another dildo, and a vibrator, and a buttplug, and a cockring and...

Holy shit.

"Hey, Patrick, whatcha reading?" Joe asks, slurring his words together lazily.

"Nothing," I reply softly, brushing it off as I continue to read.

So John had an idea.

Lock was getting home at fiveish that night once he was done shopping. Maybe he could go a little dominant on the man... maybe go a little farther than they had before. Maybe use the buttplug John had found and the handcuffs and—

Pete snatches the phone from my hand, a yelp leaving my throat in surprise as my eyes widen and time seems to slow.

"Pete!" I gasp, "Wait, please!"

"Lock was getting home at fiveish that night once he was down shopping. Maybe he could go a little dominant on the man... maybe go a little farther than they had before. Maybe use the buttplug John had found and the handcuffs."

I feel my face reddening as I try to get it from Pete but Joe's stopping me, holding me back.

"Pete stop!" I begged but the black haired boy only laughs drunkly and continued to read.

"So John did just that, he texted Sherlock a small, 'I have a surprise when you get home bb <3' and started lighting candles–"

My chest is tight as Dallon snatches the phone from Pete's hand with a glare before handing it over to me, an unreadable expression across his face.

"You're into kinky stuff?" Joe asks with a confused look across his face.

I don't reply, just look away, shamefully and whisper out a, "I'm going to bed."

"Patrick, wait–" Joe starts, but I just get up and leave, heading to a spare bedroom to shut and lock the door.

Shameful and embarrassed.


	9. Chapter 9

The morning lights don't bring me any comfort.

I feel like shit. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Dirty.

I'm afraid they'll remember. I'm afraid Pete and Joe will laugh at me and tease me. It's not normal to be into BDSM and whatever else I'm into. It's just gross and wrong and...

What will Dallon think? Will he be pissed at me? Or okay with it? To think I even had a chance with him...

Oh god. He didn't seem like he minded all that much but he did. Under all that poker face...

Fuck.

I bet he thinks I'm pathetic, ugly, dirty, filthy. I shouldn't be reading that kind of shit. I should just get a girlfriend and get over it all. Stop being gay. Stop being a fucking kinky fucker.

It's disgusting. It makes me worthless. Different.

I pull the blankets up over my head and let out a muffled groan. Can I just sleep the embarrassment away? Is that an option?

I grab my phone from the bedside table, checking the time with squinted eyes.

9:28 AM.

I should probably get up, I can hear everyone else out the door with clanking dishes and muffled words.

I sigh, hoping Pete and Joe will have forgotten and Dallon won't mention anything. He's just about the only person who knows...

Maybe it could just pass as a, "I'm sorry, I was just bored and I didn't know what else to do."

Maybe that could work...?

Jesus, who am I kidding? That could never work. I'm done. Dallon is gonna think I'm weird and he'll probably hate me. Oh god, I fucked up bad.

I pull myself out of bed, pulling on my shirt quickly before leaving the room, my head down and my phone in my pocket, yawning as I head to the kitchen.

Joe is napping on the couch while Pete's at the table with Brendon and Ryan and Kenny, holding a cup of coffee and a bottle of painkiller beside him.

"Morning." Brendon says lazily, tired.

"Good morning." I reply quietly, looking around for Dallon. He'd nowhere to be seen, though. I guess he left...

I go into the kitchen. I'm proven wrong.

Dallon is there with a cup of coffee in hand, leaning back over the counter, eyes shut peacefully and I almost choke on my own spit at the sight. I don't, though, I just try to ignore the fact that he's right there as I grab a mug from the cupboard and empty the rest of the coffee pot into it.

"Good morning." Dallon says softly, as if everything isn't fucked up between us.

"Morning." I reply, my heart thumping in my chest. There's a short silence.

"About last night—" he starts.

"It never happened."

Dallon swallows, still gazing out the kitchen to the living room.

"Patrick, it's totally fine. I—"

I slam the creamer down and glare at him, "it's fine? Just fine? It's gross and disgusting and just... I shouldn't be into it. Just please don't mention it again. I was hoping to keep it a secret but hay obviously didn't work out for me."

Dallon looks me straight in the eye, his are dark and hooded and so intimidating. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life I have to suppress a full body shudder but I can't stop the goosebumps from running up my arms.

He only gives me a lopsided smirk and takes a sip from his coffee, "Okay."

"You'll keep quiet about it?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you." I sigh.

"Mhmm."


	10. Chapter 10

"See you at school, 'Trick!" Pete calls from the truck as I wave him goodbye and make my way inside, my phone heavy in my pocket.

Dad is on the couch, watching TV while I think Mom is in the bathroom getting ready for their date. I'm not sure where they're going, then again, I don't really care. I kind of just want to sleep and maybe cut.

"Welcome back, Patrick." My dad says blandly from the couch, obviously too engrossed in the football on TV.

"Hey," I reply, shutting the door, "I'll be in my room."

"Mkay." He grumbles back as if he doesn't give two shits.

I could believe it.

***

"Bye, Patrick! We'll be back at tenish! Take care of yourself and the house." My mom calls from the front, I yell back an 'Okay' and with a slam of the front door, they're gone.

I immediately pull out my laptop from under my bed and tap my fingers on the board, impatient for it to just-

Bzzt.

Noooooooo

Unknown Number: Hey, this is Dallon. Sorry if this is kind of creepy but Kenny wanted to give me your number in case something happened.

I sigh, adding him to my contacts quickly because I know that would probably be a good idea before I reply.

Patrick: Okay.

I quickly login.

Username: Patrick  
Password: drarry6is9otp

Archive of our own is already up and I mentally slap myself for forgetting to close out of it earlier but I know this is a new one, so I quickly bookmark it and begin reading.

Ever since the beginning of September, Billie had been there for Tré.

Dallon: Hey I just wanted to say that nobody judges you for what you're into. I know it kind of sucks sometimes. People judge me for my lifestyle, too. I'll be here for you if you ever want to talk.

I bite my lip as I read over the message, once, twice. Lifestyle? Jesus, I can't deal with this right now. I just got the house to myself. I like to make the most of it while I can. I can deal with whatever the fuck I have to later.

Patrick: Okay.

Billie's dad passed at the end of September and ever since then, billie wouldn't leave tre's side.

Oh god, another 9 year old's writing. Green Day fanfiction is never that good.

Through the years, they were best friends and as they grew up, they started a band.

Dallon: I'll talk to you later. I do want to talk to you when you have the chance, though, okay?

Patrick: Okay, bye.


	11. Chapter 11

Patrick: Hey. Sry abt earlier im jst knda pissed abt lst night nd scrd and... idk.

It doesn't take long for him to reply.

Dallon: it's fine. I understand. How are you? What are you doing?

Much punctuation. Such capitalization.

Patrick: Sittng in bd. Gna go 2 slp soon. I'm doing btr thn earlier. Hby?

Dallon: Fun lol, and same. Sitting in bed on my phone. Kenny went to sleep a little while ago. I'm a little conflicted right now but otherwise I'm okay.

I bite my lip.

Patrick: wht r u cnflictd abt? Cn I ask?

Dallon: kind of private. Sorry.

Patrick: Nah it's kewl.

Patrick: So uh...

Dallon: This might sound a little weird but how old are you?

I chuckle to myself, about to ask the same from him.

Patrick: its nt wierd im 16, hby?

Dallon: 24

My eyes widen at that. He's not too much older. Okay, 8 years might be a bit much for some people but that's fucking hot. He's old enough to know more, be more experienced, but not old enough to be a weird ass 50-year-old pedo.

Patrick: noice

Dallon: Hey, so again, trying not to sound like a total creep but would you want to go out for coffee sometime? I'd love to get to know you. You're a smart kid.

COFFEE.

Patrick: U call me kid agn I s2g

Dallon: Okay, Sassy. Is that a yes or a no on the coffee?

Maybe you could teach me-I mean what?

Patrick: id lv 2 hav cffe w u. Whre r we goin?

Dallon: Starbucks sound good?

Patrick: yeah, sre. Tmrw? I cn drv 2 Kny's.

Dallon: That's fine :)

Patrick: Yesssss (:

Dallon: Gonna go to bed, sleep well.

Patrick: U 2

I bite my lip. This is gonna be a little risky but this is gonna be hot as fuck.

Edit Contacts>Dallon Weekes>Change Name

Sir


	12. Chapter 12

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WEAR?

I'm freaking out because all I can find in my closet are cardigans and sweaters. It's too... gay. Dallon wouldn't want to go on a date with a guy who wears sweaters. Sweaters are just so... yuck...

Actually, I love sweaters. Sweaters are amazing. Dallon won't like them, though... I don't think...

Would Christian Grey like sweaters?

I need to stop comparing Dallon Weekes to Christian Grey, dammit. Maybe I should just ask him...?

You know what, it's fine. I'll wear a black cardigan and... a black fedora? No I don't want to look emo. How about black and tan? That should work out maybe...

Jesus, why am I so nervous? It's just a guy. He hasn't suggested anything sexual about some kind of lifestyle I'm too embarrassed to ask about.

It's going to be fine. It's just a small date to talk to a guy I have a minor crush on. He's not interested in me or anything. This is just a friend date. I'm getting friendzoned. How could I not be friendzoned?

I have scars up and down my arms and thighs, though my self esteem has gotten better through the years, I still hate myself. I'm awkward in social situations and I'm too small for the big dreams I have. How could I ever accomplish what I want? I don't know shit about the world, I'm barely talented in singing (like the career I want to get)...

Meanwhile, Dallon is hot. And from what I know of him, he's the Christian Grey type of guy. He keeps quiet a lot of the time, to himself but not in a shy insecure way. He's responsible, tall, dark, handsome, maybe lankier than most Christian Grey's but that's okay. I'm just the type of Anastasia that would totally let someone like him have me.

"Patrick?" My mom calls from the living room, her voice soft.

I leave the bathroom and head into the living room, my fedora on my head and my hands hidden in my sleeves.

"Yeah?" I ask, my voice just as soft.

"Where are you going?"

"Kenny's, I told you." I smile.

"Who's Kenny again?"

"Brendon's dad's friend. He's really chill and stuff. Brendon stays there because his dad works all the time, remember?"

She seems kind of skeptical about that but just shrugs, "Okay. Be back by 5 for dinner. Tell Brendon I said hi."

"I will." I reply, "I gotta finish getting ready then I'm outta here, okay?"

"Okay, love you."

"Love you, too."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey, is Dallon here?"

Kenny gives me a confused, foggy look but it quickly disappears as he realizes why I'm here and a smile crosses his lips instead, understanding and bright, "Oh yeah! I think he's still getting ready. Uh, you can come on in."

I keep my hands in my pockets and my head down as I make my way inside, Kenny shutting the door behind me with a soft click.

"Hey, 'Trick." Brendon smiles from where he sits on the couch, Ryan in his lap watching Harry Potter kill some people.

"Hey."

"You ready for your first date?" Ryan asks, a toothpick between his smug lips. I think he's been cutting off on smoking (thank god) so he's been using toothpicks and gum for an alternative. For the most part, it's working out. But sometimes, it gets to be too much and he needs one. I've been there. I've done that. It's not pretty.

"It's not a date." I reply shortly, "It's just..." I trail off, unsure of what it is. I mean... a date describes it pretty well. But not in the way they're thinking.

"A date. Make sure you use protection." Brendon smirks, grinding Ryan down on his lap just slightly and I can see the brunette boy's lip immediately slip between his teeth to join the toothpick.

"Shut up." I blush, "You know I'm still underage..."

"You'd still do him." Ryan replies, "Or let him do you. Whatever side you're on."

I shift uncomfortably, my cheeks growing more and more red by the minute.

"You would!" Brendon laughs.

"Shut up!" I snap, glaring at him.

"It's okay," he lowers his voice, "I would let him fuck me, too."

Ryan looks back with a glare across his eyes.

"But I've got Ryan." He adds quickly, pulling the other boy closer by his waist and I can't help but smile at how fucking cute they are together. At the same time, I know that in a bit, Ryan's gonna make Brendon pay for that comment.

"Dallon? Patrick's here!" I hear Kenny call in the hall that leads to Dallon's room. I blush profusely as I lean back against the wall and keep my head down, tipping my fedora lower in embarrassment.

"Shit!" I hear the older man yelp, "I'm sorry, I'll be out in a minute!"

I chuckle and slide my back down the wall until I'm sitting on the carpet and looking over at Ryan and Brendon.

"You're one lucky boy, 'Trick." Brendon comments, followed by a small slap from Ryan and a chuckle from me, "He's hot and-"

"Patrick?"

I look up, my eyes wide and my hands in my sleeves again, as I quickly get up, gripping the ends of them gently. His dark hair is brushed back, away from his hooded eyes. His lips are curved up, showing his bright teeth and he's wearing a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt and damn does he look good in plaid.

I feel my stomach stir in excitement, "You ready to go?"

"Hell yeah."


	14. Chapter 14

The drive is silent and awkward, I stay off my phone but I'm tempted to turn on my music because I feel really, really awkward. Dallon doesn't seem too bothered by it, his hands on the wheel and his eyes on the road.

After a while, we reach Starbucks and we get out of the car. I keep my hands up my sleeves because I don't have pockets as we go inside. Dallon lets me in first, which just makes me blush, and he follows soon after, a smile on his lips.

We wait in line for a little but, start to have a conversation, thank god.

"So, uh..." I blush, unsure of what to say, "Sorry about being so fucking awkward..."

Dallon chuckles, "You don't have to be nervous. I'm uh... Look, I'm sorry for inviting you here without much explanation. I just... I wanna get to know you. Face to face. You're cool,, you know?"

"Oh uh..." I blush a deep red, "Thanks..."

Dallon smirks, "You're really fucking cute when you blush."

I blush a deeper red and try to hide my face, not replying.

He leans back on the wall, his hands folded in front of his chest and I swallow, my throat dry.

"Sorry, am I acting too gay for you?" Dallon teases.

"Shut up," I growl.

We move forward and I order chai tea while he gets some kind of coffee I can't pronounce.

"That's not very nice, telling me to shut up." He smirks at me and I really want to slap that look off his face.

"Teasing isn't very nice." I reply, grabbing my coffee. The name reads Patrik. Do they even try?

"You love it." He replies, grabbing his own.

"Kinky." I murmur.

"That's just a bonus." He replies.

I choke on my tea.

I can't tell if he's joking or not but from the way he keeps eyeing me, I'm guessing a little bit of both. We take a seat where he immediately starts asking me questions.

"So, Patrick," he smiles that charming-ass smile and sometimes I wonder how the hell he's driving me so fucking crazy, "Tell me about yourself."

I sink into my seat, taking a sip of the chai tea, "Um... Well, I was born in Wilmette but I grew up here in Chicago. Um... I like to write and read but I'm hoping to get a career in music when I get older. Because well... I like singing and music."

"Do you play any instruments?" The brunette asks. I don't understand why he sounds so interested, though. I'm nobody.

"Drums and guitar," I reply, "But I do most of my work on GarageBand. What about you? Tell me about you."

"Well, I grew up in Seattle, Washington," Christian Grey much? "and I moved here because I uh... had a problem at my old job. I was fired and I decided to sell my house and move here because there were a lot more job opportunities. I got out of college two years ago, majoring in music as well. I've been wanting to start a band with Kenny and it looks like Ryan and Brendon might want to join, too. I play the bass and I've done vocals before but, I've never been too good...

"And as for hobbies." He bites his fingernail and looks away, the most nervousness I've seen from him yet, "I dunno. I don't really have hobbies. I make music. That's about it."

I raise an eyebrow but don't ask anymore, "That's cool, I mean whatever you're into."

There's a pause, then, "you know, you're really cool."

I roll my eyes, "Whatever."

"You are!" He exclaims, "it's not as crazy as it sounds."

I shake my head, "Whatever floats your boat."

He sighs, "Someday you'll see what I do."


	15. Chapter 15

"Dallon, Dallon, Dallon, fuck."

He tugs my hair back, my eyes shutting in pleasure as he kisses down my neck, leaving a trail of bruises and hickeys and bite marks.

"You're such a slut for me, aren't you?" He asks in my ear, his breath warm.

"Yes, Sir." I whimper, tensing up under him.

He slaps my ass hard, leaving a bright red mark on the skin, "Louder, cockslut."

"Yes, Sir!" I exclaim, tugging at the restraints holding me to the bed.

Dallon presses my face into the bed, making it harder to breathe as he pulls my hips up at the same time, spreading my legs, "Gonna fuck you so hard, cumslut."

"Yes, Sir, please, Sir." I groan, my face still pressed harshly into the pillow, "please I need you so bad."

"Shut up, Slut." Dallon growls, spreading my cheeks. I feel his breath at my entrance, warm and wet and I know he's about to eat me out. So I wait.

And wait.

Nothing.

I open my eyes but I'm only met with the darkness of my room at 2 in the morning.

And a bulge in my boxers that's really annoying me.

I sigh and rub my eyes because it hurts too much to wait it out and I haven't jerked off in a while so this will be good.

I grab my earbuds and phone from my bedside table, plugging them in as my Google opens up. I open a new incognito window, my brain a little dead from being so sleepy but my dick fucking hurts and I really want to wait this one out but I know I can't.

Withstand little bit of shame I go to the website I almost always do.

Pornhub>Bondage>New Videos

I scroll through, a little disappointed with what I find, I keep going and going.

And one catches my eyes.

Horny Dom Masturbates and Dirty Talks

I hate the titles to these.

I tap on the video, the screenshot not giving me much help on how hot the guy is.

After a fifteen second intro, it goes to the video.

And then a man.

Brown hair, brown eyes, chiseled jaw, hooded eyes, bitten lip.

Dallon.


	16. Chapter 16

When I wake up, I feel clueless.

Not in a bad way, just like... I'm missing something. I'm forgetting something. Like I just woke up from a one night stand and I'm trying to piece the puzzle back together.

And then it crashes on me.

Dallon is on pornhub.

Dallon fucking Weekes is on pornhub and I masturbated to his dirty talk.

I grab my phone from my bedside drawer, faster than I think I ever have before. I unlock it and check my Google, going to my incognito tab.

Horny Dom Masturbates and Dirty Talks

I hesitantly tap on the video, my lip between my teeth as I put my earbuds in my ears.

15 second intro and then there's Dallon. Dressed in a button up plaid shirt and skinny jeans, his hooded eyes looking right into the camera.

"Hey, Babe..." he whispers, all seductive and teasingly and that goes right to my dick. I gasp at just how much it turns me on, "Did you come back to see me touch myself? So soon? You love it, though, don't you?"

He teasingly plays with the buttons on his shirt, biting his lip and looking into the camera with his dominant look, "You love thinking of me like that? Forcing you down and touching every inch of skin on your body. Licking down your neck, down your chest. Tying you down and torturing you until you're begging me to fuck you. In that tight little ass, so pretty and ready for me."

I find myself forcing my hands into the blankets, twisting the fabric between my fingers.

"Don't you dare touch yourself yet, Slut. I want you begging. I want to know just how much you need this." He whispers.

I can't take it.

There are tears rising to my eyes. Jealousy. Fear. Hate. I'm so conflicted about this. I love this but I hate this. He's into BDSM and the same things I am, I think. He at least breaches the outline of it. He's on pornhub. The video has 1 million views. The bad thing is, he'll never be mine. Eight years difference and I still have three months until I'm of legal age.

It's not like he'd ever be interested in someone like me. I'm sure he's found someone else. Either a guy or a girl. Whatever makes him happy...

I close out of the video, deciding to never watch it again or something because it hurts. It hurts a lot...

I open my messages to find a new one from Dallon.

Sir: Hey, yesterday was a lot of fun. I was wondering if you'd like to go out on a date again sometime? I mean, if you want.

Patrick: Yea sure. Id b cool w tht :)

Sir: Cool, I'll figure something out after work. Cya.

Patrick: Bye


	17. Chapter 17

Sir: How would Friday at 5PM work? You can come over to Kenny's again unless you wanna give me your address and I can pick you up.

Patrick: my parents will b home so I cn drv myself

Patrick: bt 4 future refrense adress is 2419 n 26th ave

Sir: cool, see you Friday?

Patrick: Yea ;)

Sir: kinky

Patrick: that's just a bonus ;)

Sir: Fuck you

Patrick: you'd love that.

Patrick: gtg back to class. Bye.

Sir: You're a little shit. Bye.

I smirk, putting my phone down and focusing back on my English class, running through my hair.

All day, I haven't been able to get the video out of my head. Dallon is on pornhub. My friend's dad's friend is a drug dealer, the drug dealer has a brother who's a pornstar. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a sister who's in a gang.

I sigh and bury my face in the Springboard textbook, desperate for the-

DING DING DING

yesssssss

***

As soon as I get home and finish my homework, I pull up my phone and begin texting Dallon.

Patrick: Heyyy

Sir: Sup

Patrick: How r u?

Sir: I'm alright

Sir: just got back from work, so a little tired.

Patrick: Same but school

Sir: Wyd?

Patrick: nm in bed txtng u.

Little depressed.

Sir: I'm getting ready for bed.

For more videos.

Patrick: yeah.

Patrick: Do u hv a bf/gf?

Sir: No, and I'm gay. Not really into girls. Mostly because dicks are much more appealing. So I guess biromantic...? I dunno.

Patrick: Yeah, biromantic homosexual cisgender... it's a mouthful easyier to jst say gay.

Sir: yea, how about you?

Patrick: Gay. All the way through. Boobs are cool but dicks are waaaay better.

Sir: yep same

Sir: Are you doing okay?

No. I'm crying. I can't stop shaking. My chest hurts. Once my parents go to bed, I'm going to slit my wrists with a razor.

Patrick: Eh

Sir: What's wrong?

Patrick: idk. I don't want 2 talk abt it.

Sir: You sure?

Patrick: yea

Sir: I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to, okay?

Patrick: ok. Thx.

Sir: No problem.

Patrick: Do u thnk we could get 2gthr earlier?

Sir: probably not. I get out of work at 8ish on Tuesday-Thursday. Monday's and Friday's I get off at 4 and I have Saturday's and Sunday's off.

Patrick: okay. tht's ok.

Sir: You sure you don't wanna tlk?

Patrick: Yea. I'm gna go. Sry.

Sir: Oh okay. Talk to you later?

Patrick: yeah


	18. Chapter 18

Friday comes much faster than I thought it would. The week goes by in a flash of homework, English, Science, pornhub, Social Studies, Dallon Weekes, Math, and Band. The next thing I know, I'm getting my fedora on and a freshly cleaned leather jacket over an Blink-182 shirt and looking in the mirror to make sure I don't look like shit.

Although, I've noticed I've gotten more and more comfortable with what I wear around Dallon, I'm just more comfortable with him. Late night texts and jokes have helped me come out to him much more, knowing he isn't near as intimidating as the Christian Grey I expect him to be...

Just as I'm getting my shoes on, my mom comes into my room and leans against the door, as if I'm in trouble. Her hands folded over her chest and a serious look across her face but I think that might just be her face.

Shit, did she find Fifty Shades of Grey?

"Hey, Patrick?" She asks sweetly, not matching up with her expression.

I raise my eyebrows at her with a hum.

"Are you going to Kenny's again?" She asks.

I nod.

"I don't think you'll be able to tonight. I'm sorry, Honey, but your dad and I have to go shopping. Could you stay here for the evening? I'm really sorry. I know you want to spend time with your friends..."

I bite my lip, an idea stirring in my mind as I reply, "No, it's fine. I'll just invite Pete over."

"Thank you, Sweetheart." She says delicately, like she feels like if she yells, the house will shake and break down.

I slip off my shoes and scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.

"So, we're gonna go. Text or call if you need anything. We'll be back at around 8, okay?" She asks.

"Okay, see you." I reply.

"Bye, Sweetie." She says, kissing my forehead gently and then turning away, heading to the door with Dad.

"See you in a bit." Dad calls and with that, the door shuts.

Almost immediately, I grab my phone from my pocket and send a message to Dallon.

Patrick: hey, parnts hv 2g2 th store. Thyll b back @ 8. Do u wanna cm ovr? I cnt leave th house while they're nt here.

Sir: Yeah, that's fine. I'll be over in a few minutes or so. I have to finish with a project real quick. Are we eating dinner over there?

A project=porn.

Patrick: Yeah, we cn ordr pza or smth. I hv str wrs.

Sir: yesssss

Patrick: Lol, ill c u in a bt, k?

Sir: Okay, cya ;)

Patrick: Bye (:


	19. Chapter 19

Friday comes much faster than I thought it would. The week goes by in a flash of homework, English, Science, pornhub, Social Studies, Dallon Weekes, Math, and Band. The next thing I know, I'm getting my fedora on and a freshly cleaned leather jacket over an Blink-182 shirt and looking in the mirror to make sure I don't look like shit.

Although, I've noticed I've gotten more and more comfortable with what I wear around Dallon, I'm just more comfortable with him. Late night texts and jokes have helped me come out to him much more, knowing he isn't near as intimidating as the Christian Grey I expect him to be...

Just as I'm getting my shoes on, my mom comes into my room and leans against the door, as if I'm in trouble. Her hands folded over her chest and a serious look across her face but I think that might just be her face.

Shit, did she find Fifty Shades of Grey?

"Hey, Patrick?" She asks sweetly, not matching up with her expression.

I raise my eyebrows at her with a hum.

"Are you going to Kenny's again?" She asks.

I nod.

"I don't think you'll be able to tonight. I'm sorry, Honey, but your dad and I have to go shopping. Could you stay here for the evening? I'm really sorry. I know you want to spend time with your friends..."

I bite my lip, an idea stirring in my mind as I reply, "No, it's fine. I'll just invite Pete over."

"Thank you, Sweetheart." She says delicately, like she feels like if she yells, the house will shake and break down.

I slip off my shoes and scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.

"So, we're gonna go. Text or call if you need anything. We'll be back at around 8, okay?" She asks.

"Okay, see you." I reply.

"Bye, Sweetie." She says, kissing my forehead gently and then turning away, heading to the door with Dad.

"See you in a bit." Dad calls and with that, the door shuts.

Almost immediately, I grab my phone from my pocket and send a message to Dallon.

Patrick: hey, parnts hv 2g2 th store. Thyll b back @ 8. Do u wanna cm ovr? I cnt leave th house while they're nt here.

Sir: Yeah, that's fine. I'll be over in a few minutes or so. I have to finish with a project real quick. Are we eating dinner over there?

A project=porn.

Patrick: Yeah, we cn ordr pza or smth. I hv str wrs.

Sir: yesssss

Patrick: Lol, ill c u in a bt, k?

Sir: Okay, cya ;)

Patrick: Bye (:


	20. Chapter 20

It starts off slow, his lips resting on mine, the world stilling around me. My heart pounding. My eyes shut. My hands ghosting over his neck and feeling the goosebumps rise wherever I touch...

After a moment, he pulls away and presses in again, this time moving his lips softly, slowly getting harder and guiding me in the kiss.

A couple kisses later and he's going passionate, easing me farther on the bed as he sets down the guitar and begins crawling over me. Dallon pins my wrists to the bed, keeping our lips connected as he continues to deepen the kiss, panting.

I find myself moaning his name into his lips and trying to pull him closer by my legs. He only bites down hard on my bottom lip, enough to draw blood and make me whimper.

"D-Dallon, please..." I whimper.

He smirks and grinds our crotches together, enough for me to feel him through the fabric of my jeans and him to feel me. I'm probably embarrassingly hard right now.

He pulls away to catch his breath, his chest heaving and he's so hot. His dark hair messy in his eyes, his lips red and swollen, his hooded eyes bright and full of excitement, not to mention the small grin that's crossed over his lips.

A grin crosses my own lips, joy in my eyes.

I just kissed Dallon Weekes-no... Dallon Weekes just kissed me and he sang me a love song and...

"I'm sorry if this is a little rushed and uh... out of the blue..." he chuckles softly and pecks my lips.

"Goddammit, Dallon," I whisper, "Just..."

I kiss him and he only chuckles at how eager I am before kissing back, his hands gripping my wrists harder.

I feel him eventually let go of my wrists, freeing them from where they were comfortably trapped to instead begin pulling off my hoodie, unzipping the restraints.

And it's at that point that I have to gasp out a soft, "Stop."

He does so immediately, like it's the only control I'll ever have over him, pulling his hands away and raising them above his head in surrender.

I blush and swallow, "I'm sorry I... uh... you're from Washington aren't you?"

He nods, lowering his hands when he knows I'm not in serious trouble.

"The age of consent here is different. Uh... seventeen." I blush, "and either way, I don't think I could really let anyone go that far yet, I'm sorry..."

He shakes his head and kisses me again, more chaste than the kisses before, "Hey, that's okay. I understand, okay? We just started this... I wouldn't blame you if you wanted me to leave."

I laugh softly but kiss him again, feeling him lay down beside me, our lips still connected.

After a few more moments of kissing, he pulls away and instead presses me close to his body, our legs tangled and his lanky arms tight around my shoulders.

And not a word is exchanged as I feel myself drifting off into sleep, soft, quiet, peaceful.

Laying beside Dallon.

***

Sir: Hey. Sorry for leaving without telling you, I didn't want to wake you up because you're adorable when you sleep and your parents were gonna be home soon. I need to talk to you when you have time about us if that's okay. I don't want to make things weird between us and I want to be in a relationship with you if you'd be okay with that.

Sir: P.S. Nice contact name for me ;)


	21. Chapter 21

Patrick: Hi

Sir: Hey :)

Sir: Did you sleep well?

Patrick: Yea

Patrick: We nd 2 tlk.

Sir: I know.

Sir: First off, what are we? Would you be interested in being my boyfriend?

Patrick: yes, plz

Sir: Really?

Patrick: Only if u wnt 2

Sir: Of course <3

Sir: We also need to talk about the... uh... kind of relationship we'll have.

Sir: Obviously, we're both kind of into BDSM, right?

Patrick: Yeah...

Oh my god, is he seriously suggesting what I think he is.

Sir: I don't want to push you into anything. But would you be interested in having a relationship like that with me...? If not that's completely fine. We can have a normal relationship. No kinky sex or anything.

Patrick: Only if u wnt. Id lve 2

Sir: Same so...

Sir: We have three months until your birthday. Three months to figure out if you really want to do this, okay? Do you have any experience with BDSM?

Patrick: Besides Fifty Shades of Grey, fanfiction, and pornhub, no.

Sir: Fifty Shades of Grey...?

Patrick: yea...

Sir: Oh my god. You have so much to learn.

Patrick: ???

Sir: We can talk about this later. But that's book isn't a good representation of the BDSM community.

Isn't a good representation? What's that supposed to mean?

Sir: I'll educate you about it if we start, okay?

Patrick: oh okay

Sir: You're completely sure about this, though? I don't want to push you into anything you don't want to do.

Patrick: I know we jst srtd this rlationshp bt I rly wnt 2 do ths. A lot. Plz.

Sir: Okay.

Sir: Fine, but you gotta start actually typing so it doesn't look like a five year old. Sorry, but it's hard to read and I can't take you seriously XD

Patrick: Sorry lol

Sir: it's fine

Sir: Can I come over sometime soon? Or will your parents be home?

Patrick: Parents will be home but I could come over to Kenny's. We can hang out in your room or something.

It takes a little bit for Dallon to reply. I get a little worried but when he replies, it begins to disappear.

Sir: Sure. I have to clean up first but that would work out. Would you be okay with that?

Patrick: Sure :)

Sir: Perfect. I'll talk to you in a bit? We can get a day planned.

Patrick: Okay

Sir: See you later <3

Patrick: You, too <3


	22. Chapter 22

DallonDom has posted a new video.

As soon as it came up, I went to it, my phone turned horizontally so I can get full screen and I bite my lip as I plug in my headphones and watch with wide eyes.

It's weird. Watching your boyfriend fuck himself on camera. It's wrong. It's very, very wrong and so shouldn't do this but I have to. I'm addicted to the sight of him. To the sound of him.

As he shows up on the screen, my heart breaks a little. He looks exhausted and stressed and not fit. Not healthy. Just tired. Done. I want to hug him. I want to tell him it'll be okay but I don't know how he would respond.

He smiles into the camera, nevertheless and tugs his hair back, biting his lip as he looks directly at the camera. Directly at me.

"Hey, Baby Boy." He whispers, his eyes dark as the exhaustion turns to lust and he tilts his head back, "Back again?"

I stifle a moan as I weave my fingers in the blanket, knowing how he always plays his cards just right. Forcing me not to touch myself until he says. How he pulls his hair back and bites his lip as he thinks about whether or not I really deserve it.

I know this is a public website, not a private video chat but I like to think he's talking to me when he speaks.

"You all horny for me? Ready for me to teach you a lesson? I think you've been a bad boy this week. Haven't you?" He smirks, a seductive smirk that makes me insides melt because it's better than every smirk on this website, "Don't touch yourself yet. I want you to take your shirt off if you can. And slowly, your pants. Keep your underwear on, Slut."

Slut.

I tug off my shirt dreamily. This is extremely embarrassing but that's why I do it home alone when my parents aren't home and nobody could walk in on whatever the fuck this is.

I finish with my jeans and after a moment of him staring into the camera with that look, the look that goes right to my crotch, he smirks.

"You all hard for me, Baby Boy?" He teasingly slides his fingers across his shirt and down to his pants where he rubs his growing erection through his jeans, "So horny. Leaking. You want me to touch you, Baby Boy? Kiss you? Spank you?"

Yes, please.

He smirks and finally begins to unbutton his shirt, "Gonna slap that ass so hard you'll be red. You're going to beg for me. You need me."

Yes.

He pulls off his shirt and begins unzipping his jeans, showing more and more of the muscled V that leads to his pants.

"Clothes off. Now." He demands and as if he controls me, I do as he says, pulling off my boxers, "Touch yourself."

I do just that, jerking myself off in fast, needy strokes because I need him. I need him to kiss me. I need him to touch me. To whip me. To spank me. To fuck me. I want to be slapped and spanked and fucked and treated like a slut. I want to be dominated and I'd do anything for it.

"Fuck." He breaths as he slips off his boxers and reveals his dick. Long. Maybe eight or nine inches. Shorter than me but still.

"You want this up your ass, huh?" He asks, stroking himself and watching the camera as I jerk myself off roughly and whimper out his name under my breath, "you wanna be a cockslut for me? A whore?"

"Yes, sir." I breathe, buckling my hips against my hand and clenching my jaw already feeling myself close.

"Fuck, Baby. Faster. So hot."

I go faster, rutting my hips against the bed and jerking myself off simultaneously.

"Come when you're ready. No sooner. No later."

I gasp as my liquid stains the bed and my muscles clench, a cry of pleasure leaving my throat and my eyes rolling back in my head. I hate that, though. I've never had good stamina. I've always been quick to come. I wonder if Dallon would be able to help with that maybe...

"So good for me, I-"

The video stops as I pause it and quickly clean myself up with a tissue, gazing at Dallon's still picture on my phone.

Only two more months.


	23. Chapter 23

Knock, knock, knock.

I bolt out of the couch almost as soon as the door is disturbed, my eyes wide and my intention eager.

I sprint to the front door and without second thought, throw it open and smile at the sight of Dallon, immediately pulling him into a kiss.

"Eager much?" He mumbles into my lips although it's muffled out easily.

"I missed you." I reply, a smile on my own lips.

He chuckles and shuts the door, immediately going right back to kissing me, his hands pulling me close and his brown hair swaying gently as he pushes me back into the couch, my knees bent over the arm of the seat with my back on the cushions.

"Well I missed you, too," he smiles, crawling over me and kissing me with those rough lips.

"I-mmm-parents won't be here til ten." I say through his kissing, soon after able to talk again as he trails his lips down my collar instead.

"Would you be comfortable if I gave you a blowjob?" He asks gently, his voice deep but caring. The best of both worlds, "If you don't want to, that's fine. I know it's kind of maybe illegal but... we can't get in trouble if we don't get caught..."

I blush but find myself nodding quickly, pulling away.

Just the idea of him sucking me off makes my stomach spin and I find myself moaning as he nibbles down my neck.

"Would you like that?" He asks, his voice becoming deeper and his breaths warm on my neck, his eyes flicker up and I find my lip being trapped between my teeth as I whimper, "Let's go to your bedroom, hmm?"

I nod, breathless, my hands squeezing the couch.

He pulls me up and leads me to my room a grin across his dark features.

As we continue to walk to my room, though, I can't help but have second thoughts.

If always imagined having sex or doing anything sexual in general would just... eliminate my low self-esteem. But as he presses me down on the bed and continues kissing me, I feel panicky. Clammy. My eyes widen and my heart begins pounding. Not in a good way.

Dallon begins unzipping my jacket slowly, his lips ghosting over my collarbone.

"Dallon, I... uh... don't think I should do this. I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice small and my throat dry.

Dallon pulls away immediately, still on his hands and knees above me.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I-I... uh..." would he think I'm weird if I told him the truth? Would he leave? What if he wants a sub that confident in themself?

"You can tell me anything you want, you know. You don't have to be afraid..." Dallon says, brushing the hair from my eyes.

What? I can just tell him I self-harm? I can just tell him I get bullied almost every day? That I can barely live with myself?

"I-I... I'm uh..." I blush a deep red, "I'm sorry. I can't."

He nods, "That's okay. You're fine. You don't have to tell if you don't want. We can wait."

I sigh and watch as he lays beside me, pulling me close, "I love you."

"Love you, too..."


	24. Chapter 24

One week.

One week until I turn 17. One week until I'm gonna be in a completely different relationship with Dallon.

For my birthday, Pete, Joe, Ryan, Brendon, Dallon, and I are going out of the city on an hour or so long trip to see the stars.

Yeah, I could've had an actual party but I think I like this better. Ever since the day they invited me to come with them, with Kenny, I've wanted to do it again, a little less afraid this time.

I'm still going to have a party with my family with gift exchange and such but my friends will be the main event. Will Dallon and I talk? Will he ask to take my virginity? What if I'm not ready? I'm still supposed to show him everything... even my scars... what if he breaks up with me as soon as he sees them?

I've been trying to stop, maybe he'll help with that.

I sigh and open my laptop, typing in my username and password (I changed it to dESTIELotp6969 since last time) and opening my Wattpad account (Username: 50ShadesOfPatStump).

"Patrick, honey? When you have time could you take out the trash?"

I sigh, banging my head against my computer before I take a deep breath and reply, "Yeah, one moment."

Goddamnit.


	25. Chapter 25

"Bye, Mom! I'll see you tomorrow!" I call to my mom as she cleans up the wrapping paper all over the room from when family was here to give me presents.

"Bye, Sweetie, I'll talk to you later. If something happens, call me."

"I will, bye," I reply, flinging myself out the door and running down the sidewalk to find the big, red truck with Kenny driving, Ryan and Brendon in the back seat, and Dallon, Joe, and Pete in the tailgate of the truck.

I sprint to the back, launching myself in the back and immediately embracing Dallon in a kiss, my hands wrapped around his shoulders as I straddle him. He chuckles into my lips, digging his fingers into my ass and making me yelp in surprise.

"Rude," Pete scoffs but I immediately embrace him in a hug and kiss his cheek for extra measure.

"Happy birthday, Trick!" Joe yells as the car begins to drive, a drag between his fingers and an already high expression on his face.

"Thanks, Joe," I smile, pulling him into a hug and kissing his cheek as well before I get back to my boyfriend and kiss his face over and over and over again.

He chuckles at how eager I am, meeting my lips once or twice until he eventually pushes me off and turns me around so I'm sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around my waist.

And I'm happy.

17 years old, the world falling apart around me. Sex is the only thing on my mind. Dallon's arms around me. His head resting on my shoulder.

I've never felt more alive.


	26. Chapter 26

His lips are on mine, his hands moving up and down my sides with gentle motions and his legs on either side of my hips, pressing me down in the mattress.

He pulls my legs up so they're wrapped around his waist and he immediately begins grinding down, rubbing his hand across the bulge in my jeans and beginning to pull off my shirt.

I keep up with his pace as well as I can, sitting up to let him get the shirt off and I watch as he kisses up and down my chest, leaving little red marks wherever he can.

"D-Dallon," I whimper as he kisses my nipple and begins sucking, flicking his tongue over the nub and looking up at me, "F-fuck,"

He licks his lips, pulling away and kissing me before he begins grinding down on me, holding my legs in place around his thighs.

"I want, shit," he swallows and continues, breathlessly grinding against me, "I want you to beg. Is that too kinky for a first time?"

I let out a shuddery breath, shaking my head.

"Then beg for me, Slut." He growls in my ear, pulling my hips closer.

"F-Fuck," I whimper, "Please, Dallon, I need you so bad, please, I'll do anything," Oh god I sound like a fucking idiot, "please."

He bites down on my neck, a cry of pleasure leaving my throat, "we're gonna work on that, Slut."

I whimper in agreement before he pulls off the flannel warmer over his shirt and takes off the shirt soon after.

I waste no time in unbuttoning his jeans, sucking and licking his chest as I go and watching his eyes follow my fingers as I pull them off of his legs.

"Shit, I love you," he whispers, pulling me close with his fingers tangling in my hair and his lips on mine.

"I love you, too," I whisper as he pulls away and finishes with his clothes as I get to mine, my boxers and jeans and socks falling to the floor while he looks me up and down, licking his lips.

"You're fucking beautiful," he whispers, pinning me back down.

"Thank you," I whisper.

And we continue, the night passing in a flurry of... well... love.


	27. Chapter 27

When I wake up, it doesn't take long for me to realize I'm naked. And I'm not in my own bed.

And Dallon is beside me.

I blink, a little confused at first. And then after a moment or two, it starts to come back and a smile comes across my face.

We had sex.

He took my virginity last night.

I bury my nose into his chest, seeking his warmth and his company and, oh my god. I had sex. It's hard to think that I've been dreaming for this ever since I got Fifty Shades and it finally happened and...

"H-hurts," I whimper as he slides inside me, pulling me close. He stops as soon as I say it and strokes my hair gently with a soft, "I know, you're almost there, it'll get better just hold on."

I see a smile creep onto Dallon's face as I pull him close and he pulls me closer, our chests pressed together and soon after our lips.

He pulls back after a moment, making a gentle but satisfying smacking sound. His bright blue eyes are open and I can't help but smile a bit more, tears rising to my eyes.

"I love you so much," I whisper, holding him closer, "So, so much, fuck."

He chuckles, "I love you, Baby."

He pulls me on top of him so I'm straddling him, the sheets hiding my pelvis and his hands on my hips.

"Fuck, 'Trick," he whispers, "How did I get so lucky?"

I blush and reply, "I dunno. But I love you."

"I love you, too."


	28. Chapter 28

Sir: hey babe

I look down at my phone, my hand on my cock and moans blasting through my ears.

Goddamnit, Dallon.

Patrick: Kinda busy rn

Sir: What are you doing.

Patrick: Stuff

There's a moment where I just lazily stroke myself, waiting for him to reply.

Sir: Take your hand off of that cock right now. You can finish later. I need to talk to you about the agreement. Do you understand me?

Shit.

I immediately comply, pulling my hand away from my length and closing out of the browser on my laptop.

Patrick: okay

Sir: do you think you can come to Starbucks rn? Same place as last time?

I swallow, then reply.

Patrick: Yeah, that should be fine.

Sir: Good. I'm here now, so get over here asap.

Patrick: okay.

***

"You made it,"

I swallow, adjusting the sleeves of my cardigan as I sit across from Dallon, a tablet in his hand and a dominant look in his eye. I don't know if I've ever wanted to be fucked over a table so bad before.

"Y-Yeah," I whisper, looking around nervously.

Dallon takes me hand and smiles gently, "Hey, it's okay. You're safe."

I smile, a blush spreading across my cheeks as he laughs, "You're adorable."

"Th-Thanks. About the uh... agreement?"

He nods, swiping on his tablet a few times, "are you a masochist?"

I swallow and nod, "Yeah,"

He smiles with a small, "Good, thought so but wanted to double check," before he turns it and shows it to me, a list of kinks and such, making me swallow and grip the table softly.

• Ageplay  
• Blindfolds  
• Bondage  
• Breathplay  
• Caning  
• Collars  
• Crossdressing (Lingeries, women's underwear, etc.)  
• Dirty Talking  
• Double Penetration  
• Edgeplay  
• Fisting

Woah, what?

• Floggers  
• Food Play  
• Gags  
• Handcuffs  
• Humiliation  
• Ice  
• Masturbation  
• Nippleplay  
• Oral  
• Orgasm Control (Denial, Delay, etc.)  
• Overstimulation  
• Pet Play  
• Public  
• Riding Crops  
• Shibari  
• Sounding  
• Spanking  
• Teasing  
• Threesomes  
• Toys  
• Videotaping  
• Voyeurism  
• Waxplay  
• Watersports

"This is an outline of ehm... scenes I'd be comfortable with practicing. You can cross off any of them that are hard limits, keep soft limits. If you don't know what something is, just ask."

I swallow, nodding and shakily using the stylus he gives me to cross off some of the ones I doubt I'll ever want to try.

• Ageplay  
• Edgeplay  
• Pet Play

"Shibari?" I ask, lowering my voice.

Dallon holds up a finger and takes out his phone, typing in something quickly and soon after turning to phone to let me see.

It's a picture of a girl in a bra and very revealing underwear but her arms are tied behind her back, straight out. The rope weaves between the two arms, creating an intricate but strangely beautiful pattern and hell yeah. I'm gonna try that.

"Sounding?"

He purses his lips and looks around, then quickly types something else in his phone, and turns. It's not an image this time but text.

Inserting a metal rod into the tip of your penis.

My eyes widen and I quickly cross that out in several thick lines. Nope. Nope. Nope.

He chuckles and watches as I read through the rest, setting the stylus down as soon as I finish, crossing out watersports.

"There's a second part, uh, just scroll down."

I continue to scroll as he talks.

"Just basic requirements and if any of them aren't what you'd like we can discuss something if you'd like."

I read through the requirements he has my lip trapped between my teeth.

• Safeword any time during a scene when you're uncomfortable  
• Discussion after each scene  
• Consent before each scene  
• I will not hurt you outside of a scene or if it is unconsentual  
• Aftercare is required  
• Never lie to me  
• Shaving is optional but recommended  
• We need to fucking discuss the Fifty Shades of Grey thing

I chuckle, "Discuss the Fifty Shades of Grey thing?"

He rolls his eyes, "It's a really, really bad example of this sort of stuff."

I roll my eyes and read the last requirement.

• At least one enema a week

My eyes wide, "One enema a week? Aren't those painful?"

He takes my hand gently, "I'll always be here to help."

I blush a deep red but nod, looking away.

"We can talk about in-scene rules later but for now, are these okay? The requirements. Overall, just... this relationship?"

I nod, watching as he takes the tablet away and pecks my cheek.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."


	29. Chapter 29

Summarize, with two examples from the text, how federalism has impacted our nation. (6-8 sentences)

I gaze at the paper with tired eyes, my hands running through my hair frustrated. You've gotta be kidding me.

I collapse back on the bed, wishing Dallon was just with me to make it better. He always makes it better. It's an addiction but I think that's okay. Love is supposed to be addicting I guess.

"Patrick? Honey?" I hear Mom call from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" I call back.

Silence.

Goddamnit Mom.

I get out of bed and open the door, heading to the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"Your father and I are going out on a date tonight. Do you think you'll be okay staying here alone?" She asks,

"Of course. See you in a bit."

She hugs me close, "Love you, see you soon."

They head to the door, and with one last goodbye, their gone.

And my phone is out.

Patrick: Can you come over? I want to try scening if that's okay.

I wait a moment, heading back to my room and putting away my homework.

Sir: Of course, be there in a bit. I gotta pack some stuff.

Patrick: Okay <3

Sir: <3

***

There's a knock at the door and I don't waste time in sprinting there, opening it, and immediately embracing the man on the other side.

He chuckles kissing my forehead gently and shutting the door behind himself.

"Hey, Love, eager are we?"

I swallow and nod my head, a smile appearing on my lips.

He smiles back, "Okay, go into your room, take off all your clothes except your underwear, get on the bed, on your knees."

I blush a bright red, but don't argue, adrenaline rushing through my veins and excitement in my movements as I rush to the room and assume that Dallon's unpacking his bag.

As soon as I'm on the bed, I kick off my shoes and socks and throw my shirt and jeans in the laundry hamper. I get on my knees, my hands on my thighs, my head down, ready for whatever he wants to do to me.

After a couple minutes I hear the door open and my gaze immediately flickers up to see him standing there shirtless. Holy shit.

He sets the bag down, a riding crop being rolled between his fingers and oh my god this is really happening.

"If any of this becomes too much for you, I use the red, yellow, green system, do you know how that works?" He asks, the riding crop sliding across my skin and my eyes trained on it, soon after looking up at him.

"Green means go, yellow means get ready to stop, red means stop," I reply, remembering it from a lot of fanfiction I've read.

"Good boy." He slides it down my chest, to my stomach and back up. I can't help the moan that escapes my lips.

The crop comes down on my shoulder and it stings. It's not too terribly bad but enough that it does hurt and I jump.

Dallon chuckles, moving the rough leather under my chin and forcing me to look up into his eyes, dark and hooded but still a bright blue.

"You don't make a sound unless I say you can. Understand?"

I swallow and nod, "Y-Yes."

He smiles that dark Christian Grey smile and oh shit that's hot. I don't know how he does it but my insides are melting and my dick is getting harder than I think it ever has been before.

The riding crop continues to run up my skin, making circles on my nipple and pulling back. It makes me flinch as it comes back down and all my will to stifle a yelp of surprise.

"Good boy," he coos, rubbing where he just hit me and letting the crop fall to my thighs, "You will call me sir. The rules on that are you only call me that during a scene or when you want to initiate a scene. Okay?"

"Okay... Sir." I reply, testing the word on my tongue.

"No masturbating without permission. This is presentation position, you'll come to this position when I say. You will do everything I say without backtalk. If I'm doing something that makes you uncomfortable, safeword. I'm more than just a dom, Patrick," he comes forward, leaning over the edge of the bed with the riding crop on the mattress. Out eyes meet, "I'm here as a friend, too. And a lover. I'm here to help you and you're here to help me. We do this for the both of us, not just one or the other."

He kisses me gently, then pulls back, "For these first few times, I want you to get used to scenting. Recognizing rules, following orders, etcetera. After that, we can work on your stamina, and start exploring kinks, yeah?"

"Okay, Sir." I reply, looking back down obediently. I hear him shuffling through the bag and after a moment of silence I hear, "Hands and knees. Now."

"Yes, Sir," I whisper, quickly complying. He sighs and I hear the riding crop back on my skin, striking down on my back so it arches and a yelp nearly leaves my mouth.

"Keep it arched." He growls.

There's a little more silence, some shuffling, and then a blindfold is being tied behind my eyes. My breathing hitches at the feeling but I somehow feel relaxed at the feeling.

"A sub gets the pleasure, the overall pleasure, from just... being. From following the rules, for not having to think twice. And a dom does it for more than just their pleasure but for having control over another. For being able to let everything go right. That's the basis at least and that alone is probably much different than what you read in Fifty Shades, yeah?"

I swallow, "Yes, Sir."

He sighs, and I hear a pop of a bottle of lube and the substance squirting out onto something.

"I want you to stop self-harming. I think this might help with that. So instead of you hurting yourself, it's me. It's much more controlled, but it gives the same rush of adrenaline. If you ever feel the need to cut, don't be afraid to call me up, alright? I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Yes, Sir," I reply, glad that he's helping me with this.

"Now, I want to know why you cut." He says, his fingers at my rim, lubed up and pressing in gently.

I tense up at the feeling but as he massages my hips I unclench and let his fingers enter me, spreading my legs little by little until he has access to my entrance.

"B-Bullies," I reply, "There are a couple guys at school who beat me up."

He fucks me roughly with his fingers for a few minutes then takes them out and I feel a pair of handcuffs on my wrists, pulling them back so I'm leaning into the mattress on my shoulders and his fingers are back up my ass, stretching me wider and making me stifle a groan of pain.

"Is that it?" He asks, inserting a third finger.

"Y-Yes, Sir..." I whimper,

He slaps my ass, making me jolt forward.

"No, it's not." He replies, "Don't lie to me."

I swallow, "I'm sorry, Sir. I-I felt like... I felt like I... couldn't be loved..." I pause, "I'm sorry if it sounds stupid, Sir."

He curls his fingers to rake against my prostate and a cry of pleasure escapes my throat before I can stop it.

He doesn't do anything about it, just replies, "it doesn't sound stupid. I understand. But I'm here now. I'm going to take care of you and love you as well as I can."

I smile to myself, a little touched by his soft side before he automatically goes dominant again, "No more lying to me, okay?"

He pounds his fingers in and out of me a few more times, a little painfully, the bad sort of pain but I endure it for him, keeping my mouth shut.

"You can make sounds, no talking, though, alright?" He asks

"Yes, Sir, thank you." I reply weakly, whimpering as he pulls out his fingers and shuffles away for a moment, then comes back.

"Deep breaths, this might hurt a little." He says, giving me a fair warning before he's inserting something up my ass, covered in lube but it still hurts and it takes a lot of self control not to clench.

Inhale, exhale.

He keeps sliding it in, my hands gripping onto the handcuffs as I arch my back against the dildo.

"You're so good, Trick, Babe." He whispers.

I feel him finish sliding in the toy and pull away for a moment before-

Bzzzzzzz

I let out an extremely whorish moan, crying out at the sensations of the vibration. It just... oh god it feels so good.

"You like that, Slut?" He asks, whispering right in my ear.

"Y-Yes, Sir," I moan, desperate for more but he doesn't do anything, just holds it in place.

"I want you to focus on the sensations, the way they pulse inside you," he whispers, his hand wrapping around my cock, "I want you to hold your orgasm for as long as you can. I want to know your limits, alright?"

"Okay, S-Sir," I struggle out, distracted by the vibrator in my ass.

After a minute or so, him lazily stroking me, his fingers resting on the dildo and my breaths fast, my heart pumping, he pulls away and does something to make the vibrations much more intense. A cry of pleasure leaves my throat, my hips grinding back, my teeth biting into the blanket.

I squeeze my eyes shut, his fingers jerking me off faster as I hold back the orgasm that's already here.

"S-Sir, c-can't please..." I whimper, my voice whiny.

"Come when you can't hold it any longer, Love," he whispers.

I wait for a moment longer, waiting and panting and straining until I can't take it. I have to give in. I cry out, my back arching and my muscles tensing as I come all over the bedsheets.

After a moment of relaxing my muscles, my eyes shut through the blindfold, Dallon shuts off the vibrator and takes it out with a whine of protest leaving my throat.

"You did so well, Trick," he whispers, unlocking the handcuffs and pulling off the blindfold, "So well."

I open my eyes, looking straight into the mattress and... strangely enough I feel kind of... sad. Empty.

I reach out, wanting him. No, needing him. I need comfort. I need his touch. I just want to cuddle and maybe cry.

He pulls me close, massaging my shoulders gently and kissing me.

"D-Dallon..." I whine.

"Shh," he whispers, "I know, Love. It's just the subdrop."

I take a deep breath, feeling a little better in his arms, "I liked it. Thank you."

He smiles and presses his lips to my forehead, "I liked it too. It's simple so we can try some more stuff in the future but this is a start."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Trick."


	30. Chapter 30

"What's up, Stump."

I internally cringe at the sound of him, Ray. And where Ray is, Mikey is soon after.

I turn, my book in hand and a scared gaze in my eyes.

"What do you want?"

Mikey chuckles and steps forward, causing me to step back so my back is at the locker.

He takes the book and throws it to the side before he's kneeing me hard in the stomach and he's punched me in the face. I grunt at the feeling but force myself to stay up.

"Aww, is little stump scared?" Ray teases beside me, "I wouldn't except much more from a fag."

With that, and another kick in the stomach, they've left, just like everyone else.

And I leave as well, going straight to Kenny's.

***

Knock, knock, knock

I hear the door open and I'm met with Kenny. But I can hear someone crying inside.

"C-Can I come in?" I ask nervously.

Kenny nods after a moment, letting me enter and on the floor I see Brendon on the phone, Ryan by his side as usual.

"It's his Dad. They haven't talked in six months and I don't know how long it'll be until they talk again," Kenny says behind me and my heart kind of aches for Brendon.

His dad is an owner of a large company and since Brendon's mom passed, he almost never comes around. He trusted Kenny with taking care of his son and even a phone call was rare for Bren.

"I know, I-I miss you, too, Dad... yeah, he's taking care of me. His brother Dallon moved in about five months ago... yeah... I-I love you... O-Oh... okay that's fine, I love you, b-bye..."

He pulls the phone from his ear and with a hesitant finger, presses the end call button, setting it on the floor before collapsing in Ryan's arms, sobbing until he can't breathe while Ryan mumbles silent coos into his ear.

I feel hands around my waist and jump as I look back to see Dallon, a sad smile on his lips.

"You wanna go?" He asks.

"Y-Your room if that's okay." I mumble.

He swallows, "I-I don't know if..."

I sigh, deciding to do what's best in this situation. I know why he's nervous and he told me not to lie, so, "I-If you're worried about me knowing you make porn, I already know, it's okay. I just want to talk for a bit."

He stares at me shocked for a moment, but nods soon after, leading me into his room for the first time.

Sure enough, there's a camera and a selection of toys laid out on the table beside the bed. I swallow but this isn't what I came here for. Well... god I don't know anymore.

I came for emotional support but I'm realizing that I want to hurt myself and I just... I'm a mess...

"How did you find out?" My boyfriend asks, shutting the door.

"I was looking through videos on pornhub and uh... I saw it..." I mumble, "We can talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay."

Dallon comes forward and kisses me gently and I can't help but realize just how much he can change. He kind of has three sides to him with the way he treats me, depending on the situation. The first side is the one he uses in public, playful teasing, social, talkative, laughs a lot. The second side is his dominant side, deep voice, sharp commands, consensual pain. The third side is this side, the one where he takes care of me: aftercare, small kisses, "what's wrong, Love?" Just love. I can't decide which side I like best.

"I-I'm sorry," I whisper, pressing my forehead to his chest, "B-Bullies at school and I didn't want to go home."

He pulls me close, letting me lay in his arms on the bed, my head on his shoulders and I can't help but reach up and run my fingers through his hair, smiling up at him. He smiles back down before pressing a kiss to my nose.

"What happened?" He asks, moving me so we're laying side by side.

I swallow, my eyes flickering down, "Called me a fag and hit me a couple times."

Dallon sighs and pulls me close, "It's okay, you're okay. I love you so much it's gonna get better, I'm so sorry..."

I shrug and bite my lip, "I want you to hurt me but I'm afraid they'd hear and my parents are home."

He swallows and after a moment of thinking, straddles me, "we don't have to use a riding crop or anything. What if I just bite you and shit, would that be okay?"

I lick my lips and nod after a moment; watching as he pulls off my jacket and throws it to the ground before taking my shirt off as well and grabbing a pair of handcuffs from the bedside table. He cuffs my wrists to the headboard and blindfolds me before his hands are gripping my hips and he's kissing down my neck to my bare chest, biting down wherever he can.

I whimper slightly, arching my back at his touch but I'm desperate for more. I need him to actually hurt me.

He pinches my nipples gently which gets a good amount of adrenaline running through me but I need more.

"S-Sir, m-more please." I breathe.

He exhales and sits up, pinching both of my nipples roughly and fuck it hurts but I need more. The pleasure is counteracting the pain and I need raw pain.

When he doesn't get a satisfying reaction from me, he twists my nipples roughly and a yelp of pain leaves my throat, satisfied.

"Tell me what you need, Slut," Dallon growls.

"Bite me," I whisper, "As hard as you can bite me."

He seems a little taken by the request but after a moment, I feel his teeth on my hip, digging in hard and my eyes roll back at the feeling, a soft moan at the feeling.

"You have amazing pain tolerance," he notes, going to the other hip and biting down hard.

"Harder," I whine.

He goes harder and my toes curl at the feeling.

He pulls away after a moment and massages the wet marks in my hips, turning fast into bruises.

"I-I think that's enough," I whisper, feeling a bit better than I did when I first came here.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Dallon hesitantly unlocks the handcuffs and pulls off the blindfold, watching me smile up at him.

"Was that okay?" He asks, "How are you feeling?"

"That was really good, I think we should try different ways of doing this, especially when other people aren't here, but I liked it. I'm feeling better, too," I smile, "Love you."

"Love you, too."


	31. Chapter 31

"Patrick? Where were you?"

I swallow as I set down my bag and look up at my mom who has a pissed look across her face.

"I was at Kenny's, why?" I ask, looking up at her.

She shakes her head, "You're grounded. A month. I need you to tell me where you're going after school, okay? No more going to Kenny's. Nobody can come over."

I glare at her, "What the fuck?"

"Language! Go to your room," she demands, pointing in the direction of me to go.

"I was just visiting Brendon and Ryan! What the hell is your problem?" I yell.

"Do you want to make that two months?" She asks, a glare on her face.

"Fuck you," I whisper before I'm pushing past her and going to my room, slamming the door shut.

***

Patrick: I'm grounded for not coming straight home. Can't invite anyone over and can't go anywhere. I'm basically confined to my room. Thank you for the scene, it was nice. Maybe you can come over while they're gone.

Sir: I don't want to get you in more trouble, but I'll certainly try <3

Patrick: I love you

Dallon: I love you too


	32. Chapter 32

I'm on my knees, my head aimed down and my hands on my thighs as Dallon moves through his bag, pulling out a few things that are just out of my line of sight.

"I want you to get into the most comfortable position you can, back, stomach, hands and knees. Something you can hold for a while, mkay?" Dallon says.

"Yes, Sir," I reply, looking up to see a vibe, and lube in hand. With that, my heart begins to race. I lay down, on my stomach and let myself try to relax as he handcuffs my hands to the headboard.

"Before we start, do you consent?" He asks gently.

"Overstimulation?" I ask.

"Maybe, you just have to trust me," he replies, "I'll teach you about trust today. And subspace. We're gonna try to work on your stamina, alright?"

I nod, "Yes, Sir. Um, d-do you think you could uh..." I blush, the pre-scene talks always make me blush, "Do you think you could degrade me?"

He runs his hands up my back, "I want to make these first few times a little more comfortable but I can certainly try. If that's alright?"

"Okay, then I consent." I reply, a little disappointed but it's okay. He knows what he's doing.

"Good, ass in the air," he immediately demands and it doesn't take me long to comply, pulling my bottom half up and feeling as he fingers me open, "We need to give you an enema soon, y'know?"

"That's fucking disgusting," I murmur but I'm only rewarded with a quick slap to my ass and his lips at my ear.

"Do not talk back to me," he growls, a fistful of my hair digging my face into the mattress before he's letting go and damn that feels good.

"S-Sorry, Sir," I whimper.

"Maybe a slut like you doesn't need prep, huh?" Dallon asks, his brown hair in his eyes.

"N-No, Sir,"

He chuckles, "Don't clench, whore."

I moan at the names, ready for whatever pain this will cause me and shit.

It's at my entrance, lubed up but I wasn't near stretched enough as he presses it in farther and farther. And ouch shit!

"S-Sir!" I groan, tears lacing the corners of my eyes as he continued to slide it in little by little.

"Color," he demands.

"Y-Yellow," I cry, weaving my hands in the headboard as he continues. It feels like I'm being split in half, the pressure is so much and I don't even think it's that big but I can't think straight. I'm in so much pain and I can't...

He stops, pulling his hand away and whispering out a small, "You're really tight."

There's silence for a moment, but then I'm bursting out laughing at how fucking stupid that sounded. He chuckles a little himself, massaging my aching hips.

"Did so good, Love. I'm really surprised you can take it like that..." he says.

I swallow and shut my eyes, feeling as he runs his fingers over my ass and turns on the vibrator to a low setting, putting the remote down after a moment and squeezing my ass gently.

"Color?" He asks, kneading me gently.

"Green," I reply, biting my lip at the gentle vibrations coursing through my body.

"Okay," he pulls away for a moment, and that's when I feel his hand come down on my ass, my whole body jerking forward and a cry escapes my throat, "stamina."

I moan softly as he nudges at the vibe up my ass, "How long are we gonna be here?"

I look over at the clock beside the bed without hesitation, "Parents will be home at eight so three hours."

"Good," he whispers, turning up the vibe several levels until I can see it's on 7 out of 10 and I'm gritting my teeth in pleasure, "Stamina. What we're doing right now will hopefully help you last longer and go for several rounds without getting absolutely exhausted. If you need to take a break for anything, we can do that. It does get a little overwhelming."

"Thank you, Sir," I reply, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Okay so... trust," he says, "Obviously this entire relationship is based off of a lot more than just sex."

I can barely focus with the rhythm of the vibrator, the pool in my stomach growing and a low moan escaping my throat. He continues to massage my ass, giving it an occasional slap.

"Trust is a large part of it. I mean you wouldn't just let me have you like this. Vulnerable and laid out. I could slit your throat or if you save worded, I might not stop." He says, massaging my thighs as I tense up under him. I let out a pleasured groan and come into the bed, my eyes rolling back.

He turns off the vibe for a moment, wiping off the cum on the bedsheets and my stomach and my length with a tissue before turning it back on, to a low setting.

"Sir?" I ask.

"Yes?" Dallon replies.

"How many times have you dommed before? I mean how many other relationships?"

He hums, jacking me off in smooth strokes, "There was a man named Gerard. And a girl named Breezy. Gerard broke up with me when he said we couldn't work out. He was falling in love with someone else. Breezy broke up with me when I uh... took it too far."

I don't say anything for a moment, then ask another question, "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"What's sub sp-ah!" I yelp as he turns the level up a couple notches, pain coursing through my body. A bad pain and I don't like it, "y-yellow."

He quickly turns it back down, "What's wrong?"

"Hurts," I reply, grimacing.

Dallon nods, massaging my lower hips, "what was your question?"

"What's subspace?" I reply immediately.

"It's a state of mind where... you feel high. You can't think you just have a floating feeling. I want to make you feel that way some day. You'll submit yourself completely to me. So I can do as I please. You can't think but from what I've heard it's a nice feeling."

I swallow, "I wanna do that."

He chuckles, "Someday, Love.

"Someday."


	33. Chapter 33

A week has passed since I was grounded. Two days since Dallon came over and made me come eight times.

Now here I am, sitting in bed with my phone in hand and my eyes gazing over our conversation so far as I wait for Dallon to reply.

Sir: Hey  
Patrick: hey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
Sir: never do that again I swear to god Patrick  
Patrick: how are you?  
Dallon: I'm alright, you?  
Patrick: I think I'm doing OK. I'm not entirely sure.  
Dallon: what's wrong?

I purse my lips.

Patrick: it sounds kind of stupid are you sure you want to know? Sorry for being so self-conscious and unsure of myself but I get nervous sometimes.

Dallon: hey it's OK, You can tell me anything you know?

Patrick: I uh... get kind of depressed when you're not here. I wish we could live together.

It takes a moment for a response, but I get it eventually.

Dallon: it's OK, love, I get depressed too sometimes. You're not alone in this. But I promise someday it'll get better. I want you think about our future. Sounds kind of weird but I want you to really think about it.

I frown but I comply, my thoughts going to the future. Through my junior and senior years, we could be together. What's the problem with it? Be OK for the next couple of years. But as I realize it, after that I'll be in college. We never got to see each other. Would our relationship end? More so when Dallon gets a real job. Would he move somewhere else? Or would he be able to stay? He still needs his own house. And that might require him to move to a completely different state.

After college, being a musician doesn't mean that I get to spend any more time with my partner. It means that I would be off on tours with nearly no time at home.

Our relationship would be ruined.

Patrick: I'm sorry. Are you thinking about through college?

Dallon: yes. I'm sorry if that made you more depressed but we really need to think about that. I want us to make the most of what time we have and so we'll be less painful when you have to go.

Patrick: I promise i'll make the most of the time we have. I love you so much please don't leave me.

Dallon: never. I love you too.


	34. Chapter 34

"Hello?"

My eyes turn away from the TV for a moment. Dallon's here.

"Come in! It's open," I exclaim from the couch. I am not really in the mood right now. I hope he's OK with that. I just don't want to have sex right now, I kind of feel depressed but not in the self-harm way.

I hear the creaking of the door. His face coming into view just moments later. He looks so beautiful. I don't know how I managed to get him.

He smiles and looks over at me, "Hey, Love."

I blush at the name, "hey, I was hoping that we could just cuddle for a while... I hope it's okay with you but if not we can scene. Whatever you want to do."

He smiles and replies, "you know I'd never do anything you don't want me to do. That's why you consent before every scene."

I pull him down on the couch, "good, I love you."

"I love you, too," he chuckles, his hooded eyes lit up. He kisses me gently with a chaste movement. I want to stay like this forever.

"I put on The Avengers if you want to watch it, but I have other movies too." I say quietly.

"You're fucking adorable you know that?" Dallen replies, "I love you so much, yeah The Avengers is fine."

I kiss him again, and again. I feel like I can't get enough of his lips. He chuckles with each kiss doesn't hesitate to kiss back. I wonder if he ever feels how I do. If he ever feels like you never want to leave this. I don't. But I know eventually it will end. It's only a matter of time...

He lays beside me on the couch, his hands weaving in my hair for a moment before I pull away. I grab the movie from the case on top of the TV stand and quickly put it into the DVD player, starting up the movie soon after.

"Nice ass," Dallon quotes from the couch.

"Shut up," I reply playfully, blushing.

He pulls me down into his lap soon as the movie has started and I can't help but giggle a little.

We cuddle together for a while, watching the movie each scene passing by but all I can really focus on is down. I love him so much and I shouldn't be obsessed but I am.

He catches me gazing at him once or twice. And smirks.

About halfway through, my attention is derived at one point when he says something gently. It's a little out of context but I think his mind's been been wandering so I don't question it.

"Do you know why I make porn?"

I blush at the question, a little embarrassed by the subject but I realize that he would probably get kind of mad if I let him know that. We're supposed be comfortable with each other. And I am comfortable with him but sometimes I do get a little embarrassed by what we say to each other.

"No," I reply.

He pulls me closer, his arms wrapping around my chest and it makes me feel safe. He always makes me feel safe. Even when I don't think I could ever feel safe again.

"I don't know if you were curious about it or not, but it's for money. I work for money but it doesn't usually get me enough to buy a house so until I can get myself a better job, I make porn. I want to make sure you're okay with that because I don't want to sell my body over the Internet if you're not okay with it."

I swallow. I've thought about it and I'm okay with him making porn. As long as he doesn't get in trouble. That's all that really matters to me. I want him to be safe. But I know sometimes life does get rough. So I am okay with it.

"It's fine, really, I love you and nothing you can do whatever stop that. Ever you need I'll be here for you and the porn is just fine. Just stay safe for me."

He smiles and presses a kiss my forehead, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And hence this pile of trash was discontinued. thank fuck.


End file.
